An Open Letter to Bad Passengers

To the people who grab onto the seat in front when they reach for the air vents on a plane,

The vents are crappy and there isn’t a lot you can do about it. They have two settings – on or off. Grabbing the back of my chair (and pulling my hair) every 3 minuets so you can reach the vent won’t change anything, it will only make me dislike you.

To person who removes nail polish: I am a girl so I know how annoying it can be when your nails are chipped and you want to fix it and yes, flying is boring and if you’ve got six hours to kill I can see why you think this behaviour is okay. But it’s not. Nail polish remover smells and, when sitting next to you, I am worried you will spill it on my clothes. Consider your fellow passengers, don’t remove nail polish mid air.

To the person who puts their seat back on a 50 minuet flight: I am not the worlds tallest person, but at 174cm I’m certainly nor the shortest either. I know you are cramped, everyone is. But it’s only 50 minuets, leave your seat upright. Tilting it backwards doesn’t give you more room, but it does give the person sitting behind you less.

To the person who buzzes the flight attendent every five minuets: I am trying to sleep. The buzzer wakes me. Stop it. And yes the plane is too hot/cold/the blankets are itchy/you want to know if we’ve made up time because our flight was delayed. The truth is, everyone is in the same boat. Leave the flight attendant to deal with more pressing issues like the sick child in seat 20D. She can’t change the delay nor can she whip out some fabric softener to fix your itchy blanket. Lets try and make his/her job easier and leave them alone.

To the person who asks me to swap seats: No. I’m not a bitch, if you want to sit next to your boyfriend/wife/child then I have no problem swapping. But if it’s because you like he window seat too bad. I like to look our the window too and if it was that important to you, you would have paid the $6 to reserve a seat.

To the person who doesn’t use headphone with their iPad/laptop: Yes, I am sure you like shot ‘em up movies like Hitman. I don’t and I don’t like to listen to it when I fly. And I don’t think the mother across the aisle likes her child hearing the f-word every two minuets.

And finally, to the passenger who was rude to the flight attendant on my Sydney to Adelaide flight: They are only trying to do their job. Yes the flight was delayed, there are no more chicken rolls on the lunch cart and the flight is turbulent. Everyone has this problem. Sure, you may think you are more important to everyone else and talking down to someone will help. It doesn’t – everyone else just thinks you’re a dick.

Flying isn’t the best, but if you pack your manners and remember to behave like an adult, you will enjoy the journey more and so will your fellow passenger.